8 Things

  Several years ago I was asked to serve on a panel, answering questions about keeping our families unspotted from the world. How could I possibly help others when I was no expert and felt every one of my short-comings as a mother? As I thought about what I might be asked I felt confident that a few safeguards had served our family well.
  We ate together. Dinner was 5:30-6:00p.m. Most activities had ended by then or had not started. Even with summer jobs  most the time we managed to eat together. Meeting together around the dinner table became an opportunity to talk about the days events, gospel topics, recounting mission experiences, testing out our foreign language skills, and other pressing concerns we might have had. Everyone had a chance to talk and be heard.
  We worked together. Saturday clean-up included everyone and chores were rotated. The radio was usually blaring. Music seemed to help the work go faster, was not as tedious, and singing along helped the chore seem less like work. We provided working opportunities out of the home as well so that each child could earn their own money and with guidance learn to manage it.
  We knew how to play. Mom and Dad are pretty dull people if everything is work, work, work. It is good to take a break to play dolls or catch a ball, go on picnics, hike, play board games and cards, take trips, camp, go fishing and once in a while do something big like Disneyland. Yep. It takes planning and sometimes it is totally spontaneous! That's what play is and it should not be neglected.
  We went to church together. Church developed purpose and unity plus strenghtened testimony, taught service, and built our family. This was a no-brainer. Church was never neglected.
  We created our own traditions. One of the most famous and still in practice is going to the mountains to cut our Christmas tree. Our children need to see continuity, to expect something and look forward  to something that belongs just to your family. It's special.
  Make home a safe place where each child can be themselves, talk about anything they want, ask any question without us going into shock or express any concern they may have.  That is how the talking corner in our bedroom came to be. It was the place to talk privately with mom and dad. No interruptions, no intruding. It was a safe place and it became a happy place as well. Blessings have been given there as well as announcing of engagements. Sorrows have been shared there as well. Whatever was said in this safe place never was shared with anyone else. You could count on that. Having that safe corner to express ones self has been a true blessing.
  Support each other. That meant going to concerts and games and performances. It got harder as more children became involved in extracurricular activities. Supporting each other includes talking them up, complimenting each other and offering encouragement and bragging about your children's accomplishments is good too. They need to know you notice.
  Your kids need to see you be a loving couple. Kiss each other in front of your kids. Although this embarrassed Dennis sometimes he danced me around the kitchen (which I loved) or he'd hug me with the intention of nibbling on my ear (which drives me crazy). I like sitting on Dennis's lap and snuggling. We always hold hands. Still do. We hug and kiss in greeting and saying goodbye. And saying "I love you" cannot be said enough. (Even when you don't feel like it.) And that includes saying it to your kids as well. Affection is glue and every family needs to slather it on!
  I am sure there are other things that help to make a happy family that I have missed or not included. There is a disclaimer here though. We were not perfect in any of it but there are some pretty fun and wonderful memories associated with all of them. I like to think that practicing some of these habits, exercises, or what have you, have contributed to making six pretty terrific kids.

Yep!  The new year arrived. Got to face it, embrace it, got to go on. In our drive to go on we get caught  in the tradition of the season. You know those pesky resolutions we all make with good intention but never accomplish. I may think about what I want to improve in or on. But past experience reminds me that making lists is futile. I'm still just as round. I'm not any smarter. I definitely have not increased my wardrobe by any significant amount (this was a big one for me!) Eating better only lasts for a day or two and January is a terrible time of year to begin that 2 hour a day exercise program! So I'm passing on a secret. The best and lasting change comes about through the influence of the Holy Ghost who facilitates communication from our Father in Heaven and His son, Jesus Christ. Those times do not necessarily come on January 1. Sometimes they come on its heels though.
 A couple years ago I had memorized The Living Christ as part of a Stake Young Women's Camp challenge. As the Sacrament was being passed last week I realized I had forgotten parts of it so I pulled out my flip cards of The Living Christ from my bag and began to read. Through the influence of the Holy Ghost I realized that becoming familiar with The Living Christ again  would help me to know our Savior better. By learning about Him I could then incorporate and acquire some of his characteristics more fully in my life. And best of all it needed to be a year long pursuit. I can tell you this was not a thought that my wandering mind came up with on its own. But they were thoughts that compel obedience.
In my zeal to be obedient I thought I would challenge each of you to memorize The Living Christ as a family and make your FHE focus to be on learning about the Savior. But guess what? I can't. Nope. It is not up to me to be the facilitator of change, the lasting kind, in each of your families. That comes through the influence of the Holy Ghost from our Father in Heaven who knows better what you need, when you need it and how you need it.
It is my desire when an opportunity presents itself through that Sacred and Holy influence for best and lasting change you will embrace it-whatever it is.

Singleness of Heart

   Sometimes there are phrases in the scriptures that intrigue me. One of those is found in D&C 59:13. It states, "And on this day thou shalt do none other thing, only let they food be prepared with singleness of heart..." that is my phrase, "singleness of heart." Frequently people say this means simple but that particular meaning struck me as well, simple. There had to be something else the Lord meant. So I followed the scripture trail, supplementing it with words from our prophets and just to make sure I was on the right track, yes, even the dictionary. There are only seven references in the scriptures to this particular phrase, "singleness of heart". One says, "And they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple, and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart." (Acts 2:46) Another uses the word embrace in conjunction with this phrase.
  This is what I've learned. Single hearted means that we are sincere, straightforward, or loyal. Single-minded means we have but one purpose or aim. It is being free from duplicity. It means being steadfast. It means being sincere. Sincere is honesty of purpose. It is being free from hypocrisy or being genuine. Just for good measure here is the definition of simple. It means not complex, or complicated, easy, without embellishment, plain, unadorned. "Simple" has nothing to do with having "singleness of heart".
   Singleness of hearts meaning expands to something much more noble, more worshipful and with a purpose. It may include testimony, and if we read further down in section 59 it includes joy, thanksgiving, a glad heart, and a cheerful countenance. Often we get caught up in the word prepared in verse 13. It may draw our attention away from what is truly important and that is whatever we do in serving our Lord and Heavenly Father we can do it with "singleness of heart."
   During this Christmas season may our hearts and minds be turned to our Savior with "singleness of heart."

An Instrument

Last night Tim called home to tell us he had accepted a call to teach the Gospel Doctrine class in his ward. He had a few questions as he remembered I once taught the class too. Excitement filled me for this awesome and humbling opportunity that would be his. What he would experience would in turn bless his whole family. I told him those were the best three years of my life. I thought at the time he could misconstrue what I meant.
There are special times, episodes if you will, where we feel the spirit, when enlightenment fills us, or we recognize tender mercies but those are not constants. They come and go. Because I was so overwhelmed with the responsibility and knowing I knew nothing, I understood that it was only through the spirit that I could teach. And I truly wanted to be God's instrument so peoples questions could be answered and their lives could be changed.
During part of that time I was working outside the home and every Tuesday I drove to Weiser to care for my father while my mother came into Boise to attend the temple. I took my scriptures and lesson manual with me. Each week I began my study with a prayer and although dad could not participate he was my study partner. I read each scripture passage out loud as well as the lesson. Every day thereafter my thoughts were drawn out to the lesson, studying the words of the prophets and church leaders, and praying some more. When you hear the phrase "a prayer in your heart all the day long" that was me. By the time Sunday came along I wasn't any smarter but I did have the spirit with me so I could teach what God wanted to be taught. I already loved the scriptures but now I felt them, devoured them, they were my manna. On one occasion when the class was done I rushed back to the church kitchen and fell to my knees in gratitude, thanking Heavenly Father for the precious gift of the spirit. It wasn't until I was released that a sister in the ward told me that because of the lessons she heard in Gospel Doctrine class her family was reactivated and eventually sealed in the temple. I could not take credit and immediately gave praise to God because I KNEW it wasn't me. I just got to be the instrument.
I look back on that time with gratitude. I lived better. I thought better. I treated my family better. I learned more than anyone in the class ever could!
Not every calling we are given is challenging or provides an opportunity for personal growth as well as helping those in class. Because I know what this particular calling can be, well, I'm a little envious. But more than that I know that change is afoot. It's the best change of all. Living by the spirit? There is nothing better.

Peaches

This week I've been canning peaches. Lots and lots of peaches! As always the boxes were lined up in the garage and every time you walk by their delicious smell wafted up making you salivate! There is nothing like a fresh peach with cream for breakfast or hot peach cobbler with its crunchy topping and the juices bubbling around the edges. Mmmmm. When it is time to can peaches I remember a service rendered to our family one day in 1985 that even now so many years later still has power to move me. This is absolutely true.
I was carrying Angie down the stairs to lay her down for a nap when I tripped and fell. I managed to turn enough that she landed on top of me and was unhurt but I was not so fortunate. I pulled the ligaments in my right leg. And  I was 7 months pregnant with Ben. The doctor ordered me off my feet. Yea right! A couple days prior we had traveled as a family to the orchards and picked seven boxes of peaches. All seven boxes were lined up against the wall in our kitchen. Every day we checked on those peaches waiting for them to ripen. Here it was almost a week later and they were ready. It was Monday morning. I was crawling up the stairs and stopped to rest on the top stair when my door bell rang. In walked my dear friend Evelyn Dilg with her kids in tow and a bag full of supplies to help can peaches. She got right to work boiling water, gathering jars, organizing the kids and settling me onto a chair in the kitchen with my leg elevated, handed me a paring knife, and we began.  
That day we canned up all seven boxes and what followed next made me very, very grateful for such a willing and kind friend. Shortly after Dennis lost his job and we moved to Boise where he worked for 6 weeks when that job ended. Ben was born 2 days later at home. Dennis did not work again until the last two weeks in December. That job ended. It was not until the following April that he was gainfully employed. And through it all we feasted on peaches.
We thought 1985 was a year full of trials. Now I look back on that year as one full of some pretty wonderful blessings. One of those is my dear friend Evelyn. What she did for our family goes down in the Elton family annals as one of the sweetest and kindest gestures I've personally experienced. And it only takes peaches to remind me.

September

September means back to school, new beginnings, a new start. I know, I know. We have year round school and the traditional track starts in August. I loved preparing my children for school. As the ads for back to school have started it's made me a little nostalgic. It's all the lists, going through wardrobes to see what needs to be replaced, year books and student body cards, pencils and the choice between black or blue pens. Just all of it. The best part of preparations is the possibilities. So much to learn and know.
Every year I wanted to go back to school too. One day while reading about Marjorie Pay Hinckley's life something she said caught my attention. "Each day brings its own challenges, but life would be a total waste without knowing what it is about and where we can get help." She reminded me I don't have to enter a classroom to gain knowledge. As I pondered all I've learned through life so far I had to give credit to our local library. I have studied nutrition, home repairs, furniture refinishing, cancer, holistic alternatives to traditional medicines, Alzheimer's, music, painting, the Presidents of the United States, military medals, sewing, gardening, proper care of cats and dogs, cooking, other countries, autobiographies, and of course a novel or two...the list goes on and on. The library has been my classroom.
And don't forget the scriptures. They are awesome! Here is a resource that is a great help to all of us. We create our own study environment. That environment could be one of "gotta do it"  to "I get to do it". We can learn during both scenarios but chances are the spirit is stronger with an attitude of "get to do it". It is amazing how a scripture we have read a million times expands to greater and grander meaning when we apply ourselves.
There are all sorts of classrooms. Whatever it is in life we want to improve in or know is available. The possibilities are endless. I'm asking myself what I want to learn next. I know. Bookbinding!